5 Things Every Couple Needs to Know before Planning a Wedding

1. Determine your estimated guest count. Before you begin planning, it’s a good idea to consider how many guests may attend the wedding. Between the two of you, discuss how many people you would like to attend and how many you think may actually attend. It is probably helpful to include parents or immediate families in this discussion; and you’ll want to include anyone who is financially contributing to the wedding. Their input may sway those numbers one way or the other.

Knowing your estimated guest count will help in your venue search – you’ll need to make sure you have a space big enough to comfortably seat and entertain your guests. Your guest count will also have the most significant impact on your budget in terms of food & beverage and rentals. For every person attending, you will not only need to serve drinks, appetizer and/or a meal, and dessert, but everything they will need to enjoy those things – think china, glassware, flatware, and linen napkins. The more guests you have, the more tables you have. While venues often provide the table itself, table linens will have to be rented, and you’ll need a centerpiece for each.

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2. Budget Wisely. Be thoughtful about your budget. When planning a wedding, it can be easy to lose track of spending and before you know it, you’ve blown the budget. Be intentional about the things that are most important to you. I tell couples that their budget is just a list of priorities with a dollar amount next to it. It makes sense to spend more on the things that are important to you. Are you a big foodie? By all means, have fancy hors d’oeuvres and multiple desserts! Do you love music and want a party vibe? Splurge on a live band!

Consider the things that will last vs. those that won’t be remembered past your wedding day. Your photos (and video) will be something you cherish forever, perhaps looking back at them each year on your anniversary, and showing your kids. It’s well worth the higher cost to hire a professional photographer to capture all those important moments.

Your priorities may differ from your partner’s priorities. And that is okay. It’s important to discuss so you can account for all those things before you start spending. And check with anyone else who is helping pay for the wedding. They may have some “must haves” on their list, too.

3. Don’t hire your friends and family as vendors. Let your loved ones enjoy the day and celebrate with you! No one wants to work your wedding when they can be partying with you. Asking your friends or family member to “work” puts them in a tough spot of wanting to be a guest but also wanting to help you out. They will be pulled into responsibilites for the day that don’t allow them to relax and be a part of the festivities. Vendors should not consume alchohol while on the job; however, friends and family are encouraged to partake from the bar. Having a friend/ family act as your vendor creates a grey area in which they may not act as professionally as you’d expect.

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4. You get what you pay for. You may have heard this, growing up, from a parent or teacher. If a deal seems too good to be true, it usually is. It can be tempting to hire a wedding vendor who gives you a bargain price. But buyer beware, that may come with more headache that it’s worth. Often, vendors who offer lower pricing are not making anything (or very little) from your event. “Doing a wedding” may be their weekend hobby they enjoy on occassion. You will probably discover they do not carry liabilty insurance, may not have a legally-binding contract (which protects them AND you!) and they may not even be licensed to do business in your state. You should expect to pay more for a vendor’s experience. Ask how many weddings they have done, how long they have been in business. You will feel so much more at ease on your wedding day, knowing you are in capable hands.

5. Hire a wedding planner! Already feeling overwhelmed by reading the first four? You need a wedding planner. Wedding planners can help you navigate all of these discussions and decisions. Chances are, this is the first wedding you have planned. You aren’t expected to know “ALL. THE. THINGS.” But guess who does? Yep, a wedding planner! He/she has planned dozens if not hundreds of weddings, and has seen it all. A wedding planner can help you avoid pitfalls, can calm your nerves when too many family members are weighing in, and always has a back up plan for the “what if’s”. A planner can take the vision in your head and make it come to life. They literally can do magic, if you trust them. Of course, I am a little biased, but I’ve been told that hiring a wedding planner is the best money spent.

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Finding Joy in a Hurricane

“Do not lose hope. Please believe that there are a thousand beautiful things waiting for you. Sunshine comes to all who feel rain.” – R.M. Drake

Life doesn’t always go as planned. Including your wedding day.

Even when you have an event planner, no one can control the weather. And so it was with Hurricane Florence in September 2018.

Abbie & Will and Tiffany & Robert were planning for a September 15 wedding with family and friends. Abbie and Will were planning on a morning ceremony, following sunrise photos for their first look. Tiffany & Robert had been planning for a late afternoon outdoor ceremony, followed by a reception with lots of out of town guests.

Enter Florence. Forecasts were all over the place, but early in the week (when wedding day timelines and plans were to be finalized), meteorologists were predicting that NC would take a direct hit. In fact, many were heeding the warnings and evacuating not just from the east coast, but from central NC as well. Tiffany began receiving phone calls from guests who live out of state, stating they were not going to drive into the hurricane for the wedding.

As they began to realize their outdoor ceremony may not take place, Abbie & Will began making a contingency plan. They were determined to still get married that Saturday; as long as their pastor could show up, they would still tie the knot.

After a couple of days of watching forecasts, studying weather models, discussing with venues and other vendors, both couples had a plan. Abbie & Will would get married on the date they had planned, at a new location, with only a cake & lemonade reception, and few guests present. They got hitched, danced in the rain, and were on their way to their honeymoon in the mountains that evening.

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Tiffany & Robert rescheduled their entire wedding for 3 weeks later, on October 5. They had originally wanted an October wedding, so this was a happy outcome. Of course, there were still some headaches with logistics in rescheduling an entire wedding, but they were rewarded with perfect weather, including a rainbow on their wedding day.

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For both couples, the focus remained on what was important. They never lost sight of the reason for getting married and celebrating with their loved ones. Rain or shine, these couples are going to have a successful marriage if they can keep these things in focus. They were able to find joy, even in a hurricane. And there are many more beautiful things to come.